"Diet" Food

I tried to give turkey bacon an open-minded try last night, and it was GROSS. And then it just pissed me off.

And it's not that I'm against healthy food choices. I know I write a lot about bacon, but I'm no Michael J. Nelson; I also eat a lot of vegetables, fish, whole grains, and all that other good stuff to balance everything out.

So the fact that it's "healthy bacon" isn't my issue. It's that it's trying to be bacon when it's NOT bacon. And that just doesn't work.

Plus, if you're deluding yourself into thinking turkey bacon is "good for you," you'll be sorely disappointed that just like regular bacon, turkey bacon is chock full of sodium and nitrates, and the calorie count isn't all that much lower.

And don't even get me started on the processed nastiness of vegetarian bacon. I'll just give you an ingredient list and you can judge for yourself:

EGG WHITES, SOYBEAN OIL WITH TBHQ FOR FRESHNESS, TEXTURED SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, WHEAT GLUTEN, HYDROLYZED VEGETABLE PROTEIN (CORN GLUTEN, WHEAT GLUTEN, SOY), CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF GLYCERIN, SALT, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, SODIUM CITRATE, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, SUGAR, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS FROM NON-MEAT SOURCES, TORULA YEAST, CARAMEL COLOR, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM TRIPOLYPHOSPHATE, NATURAL SMOKE FLAVOR, MALIC ACID, GUAR GUM, YEAST EXTRACT, LOCUST BEAN AND GUAR GUM, SODIUM SULFITE, CARRAGEENAN, RED #3, DISODIUM INOSINATE, DISODIUM GUANYLATE, NIACINAMIDE, IRON [FERROUS SULFATE], AUTOLYZED YEAST EXTRACT, NONFAT DRY MILK, YELLOW #6, VITAMIN B1 [THIAMIN MONONITRATE], VITAMIN B6 [PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE], VITAMIN B2 [RIBOFLAVIN], CITRIC ACID, CYANOCOBALAMIN

Might as well have had the good stuff (in moderation), right?

Another offender in this area is reduced fat peanut butter (and I'm using the term "peanut butter" loosely because I don't think they're even legally allowed to call it that.)

In the case of Jif, for example, in exchange for the reduction in fat (and taste) of Reduced Fat Jif, you get the EXACT same amount of calories per serving as Regular Jif, only a 0.5 gram reduction in saturated fat, and the addition of "corn syrup solids" as an ingredient.

Not a great trade-off.

So I'm just going to keep eating real food (including reasonable amounts of the really good, really fatty stuff), and turkey bacon can just suck it.