Evil Genius

There are a lot of crazies out there on the Internet, and they seem to get even crazier when they are able to hide under the veil of anonymity.

Therefore, weird anonymous blog comments kind of freak me out. For example, this comment from a post featuring pictures Kurth took of Bernard after trapping him in our TV stand:*

I'm calling Animal Welfare. This site should be taken down.

I mean, that's a little creepy, right? And I don't want people messing with my cat!

So anyway, fast forward to this weekend when I was sitting around a fire in my parents' backyard talking about this (I'm not sure how it came up; we'd been drinking beer all day), and my brother-in-law started laughing. We all looked at him, a bit confused, and he said, "It was ME! I've been doing it for weeks!"

And honestly, I was shocked. Not because he wouldn't do something like that just to freak me out (he totally would), but because I have never known him to capitalize or punctuate, and in the comment, he did both.

He was in Internet disguise.

I mean, based on the last email I got from him, would you ever suspect that he wrote that comment?

dear all,

here ye, here ye.

ok... so tonight was like most other nights... here i am... sitting on the couch like a sloth yet jen still wants me to turn light switches on and off like a robot... "yes jennifer... i comply[please envisage robot voice]"

so im pretty hungry... i look in the fridge.. not much to eat... some frozen 650 calorie pies[yer i know... i cant believe they are so fattening... but there are vegetables in there??? doesnt make sense]... this will have to do... ok .. defrost in microwave.... done... preheat oven.... dooon...................e...........NO! why no........... BECAUSE THERE ARE FLAMES AND THICK BLACK SMOKE coming out of the oven. no this is not what preheating is supposed to look like.... im pretty sure............

so here i am thinking that i wish i had a backup of all my photos because the entire apartment is about to burn down... on the flip side im also thinking THANK GOD WE JUST GOT RENTERS INSURANCE!

after several phone calls... none to the fire department just yet though i think... wait a sec.. this is just too strange... how can the oven be on fire when theres nothing IN the oven???????? i havent even put in my mildly delicous 650 calorie pie so what can be burning????

so... just like kurt russell in backdraft i brave the heat.... i hold my breath past the thick black smoke and open the bottom of the oven... WTF!!!!!!!!! theres something in there on fire...

this is when jen joins the conversation "ohhhh... isnt that the draw to keep all your oven things...?"

my brain: "ahhhh.... no thats the broiler."

jen: "oh thats where i put the oven mitt."

case closed.
cause of fire: jen putting an oven mitt INSIDE the oven!

Justin, you are a creeper.

*Obviously, I was not home at the time. If I have been, I definitely would have stopped him. At least before he had time to take multiple pictures.