Newsflash: Men should treat women like human beings.
For example, let's say hypothetically that you walked over to a guy's house at bar time in the middle of WINTER.
And let's say that when you woke up in the morning and asked for a ride home because you weren't within walking distance and it was WINTER, he angrily yelled "FINE! Let's GO!" and threw your f-ing socks at you.
Should you ever see that guy again? NO. Should you continue to go home with him whenever you're in the same city? NO. Does the fact that he offered you a ride the next time make it okay? ABSOLUTELY NOT. There shouldn't have been a next time.
I'm not asking for much here; I don't think you need to buy flowers and candy for the girl you brought home from the bar. I'm just saying that if a woman goes home with you, you should have the decency (or the appreciation for what went on the night before) to do a few simple things:
- Make sure she has a way to get home safely, especially in bad weather.
- Get her some breakfast. Seriously. She's probably hung over. Make her some coffee and toast, or, if you're trying to get rid of her, take her to Perkin's and then drive her home. It's the classic move to get a woman out of your bed.
- DON'T THROW HER SOCKS AT HER.
Is that so difficult?
I know men have this obsession with not wanting a girl to "think something is more than it is," but this really shouldn't be a problem. Why? Because if you knew a girl wanted to date you, you have no interest in that, and you still brought her home, YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. I don't judge anyone for a casual hook-up, but everyone should be on the same page about how casual it is; you shouldn't be taking advantage of someone who thinks something more is going to happen.
Also, there's a HUGE difference between leading a girl on and NOT BEING A GIANT D-BAG. Seriously. Women can usually tell if you don't want to date them (hey, maybe they don't want to date you EITHER!)
So if you have a friend with benefits . . . treat her as just that. A friend! Would you throw your friend's sock's at her? If your answer is yes, you have deeper problems than I can deal with.
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6 comments:
Just a few entries ago, didn't you talk about how you kept going back to the dude who made you walk home on a cut foot AFTER he made you walk home on the cut foot you cut storming out after he wanted to sleep with another girl and announced that on a date with you? Not everyone is out of the bad judgment woods yet. Some people take a LOT of time, Judgy McHighhorsepants. We're all young. But we'll be smart once we're 30. Or so I like to think.
I dont' know that I've ever been in either of those situations or anything similar to those because I am too much of a self proclaimed feminist when it comes to douchebaggery. However I can see where once vulnerable can get into that situation once maybe twice, but after that I don't want to hear about it anymore! If you can't help yourself after a friend gives you the outside eyes to see whats going on then I can't help you, nor do I want to discuss your ridiculous situation. I have a friend just like this that has a guy that has been dating another girl the whole time believing that he likes her. LIES. Fing guy, and F her too while we're at it, why can't she see how STUPID this is. My two cents.
I don't know that this situation could be described as ridiculous.. since I think this "girl" has her emotions in check and isn't pining/hoping for anyone or anything. Let a sister live her life!
I'd like to add that for the record, this particular friend isn't pining away for this guy . . . she just inspired my man-hating tirade in a small way. She IS a well-adjusted human being.
I'm not saying this person is not a well-adjusted person, I believe my friend is also a well-adjusted person too, however I am saying from an outside perspective I feel this situation is particularly difficult/frustrating to deal with to help someone else see the rational side of the situation regardless of whether they are asking for advice or not. I don't think my friend believes she is madly deeply in love with this person so why deal with someone who is not that nice to you if you don't actually care or see it going anywhere? If you just want a fling find a hot sexy guy who is at the very least nice to your face. Just sayin...
I see your point and agree. It is hard to determine in advance when a guy from the bar is going to be a dbag. It is the risk we take when we take that chance. It is A LOT harder being the friend trying to be supportive, which is obvious from your perspective. We all come around! Be patient and prepared.
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