Exchange between me and my roommate on Saturday:
"So what did you do today?"
"I went out on Lake Minnetonka."
"All day?
"Yep."
"Wow, you must wear a lot of sunscreen."
That's right people, I'm PALE, and you'd better get used to it. No matter how many times you tell me that if I just hit the tanning bed a couple of times before a vacation or slapped on some SPF 15 I wouldn't get burned, I'm not going to listen to you. Because I WOULD get burned. Badly.
So to prevent the dreaded sunburn, I wear a LOT of sunscreen. Probably excessive amounts. And people make fun of me.
It's not even really a health thing; I'm not condemning those of you who choose to grease yourselves up and bake for hours. More power to you, tanorexics; if I had the ability to get a tan in any capacity, maybe I'd be out there with you. But I can't.
Once in a while some well-meaning person will even suggest "Oh, just let yourself get a little burned and it will fade to tan." I call BULLSHIT. If I get burned I will SHED MY ENTIRE SKIN LIKE A SNAKE, revealing a new layer of skin undernath that is just as pale, only with more freckles. Not so sexy. And definitely not worth it.
People who have a reasonable amount of pigment just don't understand what a bad sunburn feels like. Sunburns are the reason I'm constantly in the shade reappling my SPF 70**. I've had too many vacations, weekends and even summers ruined by sunburns that have been so painful I couldn't put a sheet over my body. Second degree, blistering, bleeding burns: NOT SEXY.
So I've decided it's far easier, and better for me anyway, to stick with the pastiness, and I'm ok with that. I'm happy to join you at the beach; I'll just be under an umbrella. And possibly wearing a sweatsuit.
Let's just make a deal. You don't make fun of my sunscreen or my nearly translucent skin, and I won't make fun of you if this happens:
So to prevent the dreaded sunburn, I wear a LOT of sunscreen. Probably excessive amounts. And people make fun of me.
It's not even really a health thing; I'm not condemning those of you who choose to grease yourselves up and bake for hours. More power to you, tanorexics; if I had the ability to get a tan in any capacity, maybe I'd be out there with you. But I can't.
Once in a while some well-meaning person will even suggest "Oh, just let yourself get a little burned and it will fade to tan." I call BULLSHIT. If I get burned I will SHED MY ENTIRE SKIN LIKE A SNAKE, revealing a new layer of skin undernath that is just as pale, only with more freckles. Not so sexy. And definitely not worth it.
People who have a reasonable amount of pigment just don't understand what a bad sunburn feels like. Sunburns are the reason I'm constantly in the shade reappling my SPF 70**. I've had too many vacations, weekends and even summers ruined by sunburns that have been so painful I couldn't put a sheet over my body. Second degree, blistering, bleeding burns: NOT SEXY.
So I've decided it's far easier, and better for me anyway, to stick with the pastiness, and I'm ok with that. I'm happy to join you at the beach; I'll just be under an umbrella. And possibly wearing a sweatsuit.
Let's just make a deal. You don't make fun of my sunscreen or my nearly translucent skin, and I won't make fun of you if this happens:
Deal? Ok, great.
*SIDEBAR: I did a Google image search of "pasty" to find an image to properly convey my pastiness to the world, but most of the pictures that came up were of Cornish pasties, which made me think about how much I miss the pasty's cousin, the Australian meat pie. And then I had to get up and get a snack because I was drooling.
YUM:
**This is not an exaggeration. Neutrogena makes it, and it's f-ing awesome.
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